There are two things that Sex and the City taught us: women are pack animals and no question is rhetorical. Wait actually, it was that every outfit should have a hat and men who play upright bass are an adventure. I’m being silly, the main take away from the beloved series is that people come to New York City for love. People of all ages and walks of life flock to this mecca that is the setting of every wonderful, romantic, movie, the backdrop for every great song and piece of prose, with the hope of finding the real deal. I personally came to the Big Apple on the back of the dream to play trumpet for money, but along the way I did find myself in the throes of finding love in New York City. The question at hand is this: is it all that it is cracked up to be?
There are more than 8 million people who inhabit the small collection of islands of New York City, and this enormous number makes one feel as though the odds are in their favor. The robust population is ageless, multi-lingual, athletic, musical, hilarious, serious, gay, straight, shy, popular. The buffet of suitors is rich. New York City takes it a step further and provides countless activities for this amazingly interesting and diverse population to take part in. Thousands of bars and restaurants, filled with ambiance, have been gifted to us, for intimate evenings of fellowship. Museums and theaters oozing with top tier talent are provided for shared cultural experiences. Parks are sprinkled all around making a casual picnic more convenient than we deserve. If people and activities are how we rate a dating scene, then New York City is number one. It’s almost too easy, right?
Wrong. Millions of people and thousands of activities need to be pared down. When faced with all of these options and choices to be made, at times it feels much easier to just sit it out. Going to CVS, treating yourself to six different beverages, cozying up on the couch, slapping on a face mask, and calling it a spa night, feels way more pleasant than facing the horrifying task of meeting someone, let alone dating someone. New Yorkers live among their own kind more than any other place. Our homes are separated by drywall and tile. We hug each other on the subway as we all travel to work. We overhear each other’s happies and sads on the sidewalk. We can’t escape one another and yet, we can’t meet one another either. There is something incredibly lonely about living among eight million people and not knowing any of them.
One day, I promise, when you are ready, or not, you will meet someone. She will get your lettuce and tomato on white and you will get her lettuce and tomato on wheat, one of you will have a horrible allergic reaction and a connection will be made. You two can then brave the process of selecting activities together, and that is when the fun really begins. Falling in love in New York City is incredibly magical. There is something undeniably cinematic about bumbling around a moonlit street, giggling your way into a new bar, then onto pizza, then a walk along the water where you see a heart light up on the Empire State Building (Sleepless in Seattle reference number two of this paragraph). You have a plus one for museum dates and housewarming parties. You rendezvous under bridges and at the end of piers. You hold hands on a rooftop and watch fireworks. Falling in love is all of a sudden extremely easy, right?
Not so fast. After a magical night on the town, human nature gently pushes you towards home. Sometimes your home, sometimes the home of the other person. Either way, the time for an intimate scene change presents itself. Sometimes this new scene introduces new characters like roommates. The new scene could introduce a new borough like The Bronx. And it may introduce one of the biggest villains of New York City: no air conditioning. There really is nothing like scooching around a tiny bedroom (which happens to be three trains away from your house), mid-smooch in search of the best cross-breeze, while someone named Harrison plays video games in the living room. But that’s New York baby, right?
Living and dating and loving in New York is a roller coaster, to say the least. One that makes you feel scared, excited, incredibly happy, and a little unsafe, at times. The desire to ride the roller coaster comes and goes. There are times where you just can’t quite muster the bravery. During these times, New York City is your girlfriend. She will wake you up in the morning with a sunrise over the East River and glass shattering in the back of a garbage truck. She will take you on walks through new neighborhoods, feed you delicious meals, and give you plenty of wonderful stories. She will then put you to bed with a sunset over the Hudson and a bedtime story from the intoxicated person on the phone outside your building. She will inspire you to give love another chance by displaying a smiley person, carrying a bouquet of flowers. So, is pursuing love in New York City worth the ride? I personally think so, because between the inclines and drops, you still have New York City, and she’s pretty easy to love. This turned into that episode when Carrie takes herself on dates to the Paris Theater, didn’t it?
