Spooky Season is Upon Us

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In case you hadn’t heard, it recently turned October in New York (and I guess the rest of the world), which marks a quick and distinctive change. It’s suddenly cold and drizzly all the time, the majority of strangers on the street are making the switch from iced to hot coffee, and just about everything is very, very spooky.

You might be wondering what exactly makes this time in the city feel so eerie. Are the ghostly spirits hiding in pre-war buildings awakened by the drop in humidity? Is the death of the falling leaves somehow ominous? Are tourists leaving the World Famous Jekyll & Hyde Club with nightmares? Sure, these things are all true. (Except the Jekyll & Hyde one–the West Village haunt unfortunately filed for bankruptcy in March.) But many more sinister things are afoot.

For instance, it’s a bone-chilling fact that NYU freshmen have descended on downtown, and this time they’re armed with TikTok recommendations. Lines of goth children with Ohio fake IDs now wrap around formerly cool adult bars. There’s no getting into your old favorite bar off of Washington Square Park, and even if you did, there’s a chance it would now be embarrassing for you.

Even scarier, it’s not only the college kids–just about everyone is in town again. Anyone who can afford to is back from the Hamptons, the digital nomads have returned from their summer Airbnbs, and the bridge-and-tunnel crowd got the memo that midtown is no longer quite as sweaty. People are out and about, which for the average introvert (99% of the city’s population) is scarier than any horror movie.

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For some, the looming holiday season is spooky. You might find yourself waking up in a cold sweat thinking you forgot your cousin’s new boyfriend’s Christmas present, only to remember it’s October 3rd. You might be fending off heart palpitations preparing yourself to admit you’re vegan at Thanksgiving. Or you might live on the other side of 6th Avenue and feel not entirely ready to fight through the Halloween parade (read: unhinged stampede) to get home on the 31st.

For others, the holidays are no sweat, but the typically spooky aspects of New York life feel just a little heightened this month. Perhaps your inability to successfully use your neighborhood CVS self-checkout and actually not have to talk to anyone is secretly an ancient curse. Perhaps your ancestors are angry with you and that’s why you’re face-to-face with a subway performance that can only be described as devised theatre. Perhaps the pigeons that fly directly at your face without warning on your walk to work are possessed.

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Spooky season is also known by its alter ego, cuffing season. And nothing is spookier than being surrounded by couples on awkward first dates, watching your high school friends get engaged on social media, or being stuck in the hellscape of dating apps yourself. The silent couple in the coffee shop or at the bar likely feels just as haunted as you do watching them. Unless they’re silent because they’re staring into each other’s eyes–better for them but so, so much worse for you.

Even if you’re brave enough to face all of the aforementioned frights without a flinch, surely the general sense of back-to-school in the air will send a chill up your spine. Surely you’ve felt the urge to buy up all of Staples, have a sober living room slumber party with your friends, or join some sort of extra-curricular. Maybe you felt the need to shop for back-to-school clothes–a first-day of school outfit for your post-pandemic return to the office. Maybe you’ve even been sitting on the M101 and had a flashback to your school bus commute.

Regardless of which of these horror stories is your personal greatest fear, there’s no denying that spooky season is upon us. Jackets are on, last year’s decorations have been busted back out, and you’re certainly debating whether you should bother to prepare for trick-or-treaters at your sixth-floor walk-up. Never fear, however–no matter how frightening this New York October gets, there’s no way it’ll compare to the scariest monster of all–New York in February.

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