If anyone was paying attention to the world’s greatest sport, you would know that the winner of the Nathan’s Hotdog Eating Contest was once again Joey Chestnut. And before you rain on my parade and tell me it’s not a “real” sport, try eating 63 hot dogs in 10 minutes. I don’t know about you, but I can only eat two hot dogs before I feel sick. So, hats off to Mr. Chestnut.

This year was a doozy. Raining champ Joey Chestnut has won the champion title 15 times. He also holds the world record for eating 76 hot dogs in ten minutes. He often beats his best record at the event, but not this year. And the reason wasn’t due to age, his broken leg, or even a worthy opponent. No, it was because a protester attacked him and Chestnut put the man in a choke hold, all without missing a bit of his dog.

You can watch the spectacular takedown here. 

So what if Joey Chestnut didn’t do as well this year. For being on crutches, and fending off a Darth Vader masked PETA protester, I think we can forgive him for missing 13 dogs. In fact, I’d go as far to say, Joey Chestnut is the hero we don’t deserve but all need.

I’m being honest, I’m bummed I missed it this year. I’ve watched the clip numerous times, replaying the glorious 30 seconds. With the pandemic disrupting its usual Independence Day event at Coney Island, and now preferring to avoid crowds, I missed the spectacle. However, I did have the distinct honor of getting to work at the actual event for two years, pre-pandemic.

I have a friend who stage-manages the event and asked to help out a few times. Before moving to New York, I’d never heard of the contest. How I know how much I was missing.

We started early. Imagine, the rosy dawn light cascading over Coney Island. Its dreamlike slumber is still untouched by the crowds of carnies sleeping off last night’s debauchery. The morning glow caresses the event podium with golden rays in anticipation of the glory to come.

Even though we were there at the butt crack of dawn to set up, crowds were already gathering. They started a queue by the blocked-off stage, wanting the best view the contest had to offer. Both years I people managed, ushering performing acts, the MC, and the contestants on and off the stage.

As Stagehands, we got “Nathan’s Hot Dogs” Shirts and baseball caps, marking us as official. But nothing made us more official than the slick walkie-talkies, complete with one of those big cool earpieces. I spent the morning shouting over the loudspeakers to the other stagehands, as we coordinated the movement of people.

One year I even talked my out-of-town friend into being a flag bearer for the “parade of nations” act. He was staying with me for the weekend, so he didn’t really have a choice.

One of the job’s perks was the endless access to and supply of hotdogs in the VIP tent. A word of advice, though, time when you eat them.

DO NOT, and I repeat, DO NOT eat the hot dogs during the actual contest.

Eat them before or after unless you have a very, very strong stomach. If you think watching grown adults shove entire hot dogs into their mouth, somehow making room for more, is gag-worthy on TV, imagine it only feet away.

That’s right, the next best perk was the best view in the event. Everyone else in the massive crowd was held back from the stage. Those who dared to show up at a non-dawn hour were so far back they had to watch it on a screen.

Not I.

I was just off the steps and had a perfect view of the men and women breaking world records. I witnessed the hundreds of buns drenched into the water and shoved into the mouths of world champions. I could see as they trembled under the weight of the contest, urged on by the crowd as the contestants fought through their blood, sweat, and tears.

Was it my favorite thing?  Not at all.

But, I enjoyed the whole affair enough that I did it a second time.

There are a few things in the world unique enough to experience firsthand. No number of descriptive words or pictures can really do justice to the Nathan’s Hot Dog Contest. If you can stomach (pun intended) the crowds and Coney Island on the 4th of July, add Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest to your bucket list. You will never forget it, even if you want to.