A Guide to Speaking Horn in NYC
Courtesy: Unsplash
Courtesy: Unsplash
Spring is here, and I couldn’t be more excited. Sure, I’m happy about the flowers, the warm weather, and the SUN! But what I am most pleased about is no longer needing to shovel out my car from under a foot of snow. Honestly, people think that the traffic in the city is the worst part about having a car here, but that’s not the case. Nothing is worse than your vehicle being plowed in and suffering a near heart attack as you hack through ice and gravel to free it. Then, as if it’s not bad enough after you’ve spun your tires and went flying onto the street, made it mostly alive to your destination, you have to shovel another spot to park.
Yes, I have a car. I’m that girl. When I moved to Brooklyn, I brought my car, and as much as I complain about moving it for street cleaning, getting tickets because I read the confusing sign wrong, or circling endlessly for parking, I don’t regret it. Getting to the beach is really quick, grocery shopping is easy and I get to leave the city without planning on complicated public transportation. (Don’t get me wrong I’m all for a better rail system in the country. I’m looking at you, Bezos).
Two significant words of advice for anyone looking to have their own car in the city:
Dump any friends who only ask to hang out with you because they need a car. If they don’t text you randomly on a Monday, inviting you out for tacos, or slide into your DMs only when they need to go to Trader Joe’s or on moving day, dump ’em. Trust me, you will be happier without them.
Learn how to speak horn.
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I’ll explain. Adjusting my driving style to fit NYC was no easy task. Half of it was learning to drive without being afraid, activating my inner Vin Diesel, and driving in a constant state of fear and exhalation. Taxis are your best friend. They were the Obi-Wan Kenobi to my Luke. Drive like them my friend, and you will learn all the secrets. The other half of adjusting was; learning to speak horn.
The horn honking in NYC is overwhelming and sounds the same to the unaccustomed ear. However, that isn’t the case. The interweaving and overlapping chorus of New Yorkers hitting their horns is actually an intricate and sophisticated way of communication.
For example, a single short tap on the horn “toot” is a polite way of saying, “Hey, the light is green.” It could also mean “Why yes, you may pull out in front of me.”
Two taps, equally short “toot-toot,” are also friendly. This means, is also means “please move,” or “I’m on your left,” or even “thanks for seeing me.” It is a soft, polite acknowledgment of existence. It is the standard form of “excuse me.”
It’s important to remember that both of the above examples are polite and you should treat them as such. Do not flip these people off, or you will make enemies.
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Now, the longer-held, single-note horn “toooooot” translates to “Hey! You just cut in front of me!” It is sterner and often associated with a warning, “I could’ve hit you!” Use this when you want them to know that what they did was unsafe or really annoying. If you get this sound directed at you, avoid eye contact. They know what you did.
The two taps, “Toot-Toooooot,” aren’t pleasant. You use this sound when you are seconds away from an accident. You hit the brake and slam on the horn, praying that you survive because you need to see the Great British Bake-Off Finale. This noise is appropriate to include the bird and/or a nasty look.
However, you need to note that frustrated drivers will use this at you if you practice safe driving habits. They will try to edge you into speeding up or just zoom past you in a hurry. Just ignore these punks. That’s what I do, and I haven’t ended up on Citizen App yet.
Finally, there is the death honk, which really gets your blood boiling. You know the one. “TOOOOOoOoooooooOOOooooOOOOooooOOT”
It drones on and on, causing your already deaf ears to lose a few more decibels. It is the noise of a New Yorker in gridlock, the sound of their soul finally giving up. Traffic isn’t moving. It hasn’t been moving and isn’t likely to move any time soon—the only recourse left is to curse out the universe. The honking won’t make the cars move any faster, but it sure does feel good to lay on the horn. If you are stuck in Holland Tunnel Traffic on a Friday afternoon, you might as well join the chorus and let the whole neighborhood know.
Courtesy: Unsplash
